Elisabeth Rohm (@elisabethrohm) will do it, all of it. She’s a hugely successful actress (Law and Order, American Hustle, Joy, Bombshell, to name a few) and an adoring mom. She’s co-written a book, she has a blog for People magazine, she’s a partner with a fitness apparel brand, and she may start a podcast (AKA we bet it’s on everyone’s subscribe list soon). She’s the perfect mixture of incredible artist meets focused pragmatist. Lis has been manifesting her dreams before manifesting was out there as a mainstream process. Her commitment to finding joy and delight in life, particularly when things are rough, is inspirational in that it’s a path she really walks as a life practice. She’s gorgeous for sure, but it’s her intelligence, honesty, transparency, and heart that make her characters on screen, as well as her real-life character, so compelling.
Listen to the podcast here:
Elisabeth Rohm: The Manifestor
Lis Rohm came by and talked to me. I’m so inspired by her. We knew each other briefly, just a little bit in college at Sarah Lawrence. She always even then struck me as the most mature, strong, ambitious, smart person and I wasn’t wrong about it. She tells her story of becoming an actor after college, but so much more than that, she’s a real talisman, at least for me, of working through the bad stuff that inevitably is going to happen. She talks about how she finds joy in the downtimes, what she does to keep herself creative, inspired and delighted by the day as she says. I feel that she learned to manifest way before I even heard that term. She’s an excellent example of it. You might know her from Law and Order or two of David O. Russell’s movies. She was in American Hustle and Joy. She’s going to be in Bombshell and tons of other things on her resume. Please enjoy our little talk with Liz Rohm.
Lis, thank you so much for coming and being a guest. I’m very excited.
I’m so happy to be with you always.
We have a lot of time history. We went to college together.
We sure did. We should give Sarah Lawrence a plug.
Big props to Sarah Lawrence, it’s an amazing place.
For turning out very weird and individualistic people.
It’s true. I loved my college experience and I thought it was special and invaluable.
I loved it too.
I met you during freshman year in college and there was, from my memory of it, a little window of time where we dated guys who were roommates. Do you remember that?
Vaguely, was it Nieto?
No, I believe your guy was Eric.
Eric who went to rehab. I think something like that. They’re freshman year, sophomore year, they’re not present. They’ve either gone down when you were too nervous.
Who knows, but you’re right, people do disappear. They did not.
Sarah Lawrence isn’t for everybody or I should say it’s for extraordinarily, emotional complex and unusual people on unusual journeys.
I remember that we became friends and we were dating guys that were roommates. We were the anomalies for sure. I thought you were the coolest person because you didn’t date him for very long. We were friends during that period, but you were so light years ahead of me in terms of being so together and so ambitious and ready for life in a way that I was still primordial soup at college.
I don’t know if that’s true.
It’s true.Nobody will ever care as much as you do about yourself. No one will ever have the same passion for your dreams as you will have. Click To Tweet
You’re always extremely sophisticated.
I remember freshman year and I’m going like, “I can’t believe this woman and she just knows everything.” You had been in New York.
You have a good memory. I feel like we’re having like a Beaches moment. You know when Bette Midler, She’s dying and the other friend goes, “I have a great memory. I’m counting on it.” I think as an actor I must have used up all my hard drive for short-term memory that my long-term memory is terrible.
Your short-term memory is what needs to be on point. Mine can just roam and wallow in there. I remember when I toured the city with you, I saw your dad had a home there. You had been in New York. We’ll see if my memory stays for now, but also you made a big impression on me so that is probably also part of it. You were born in Germany and then you moved to New York.
I was a year. My parents met in New York and they went back to Germany for a year to close up my dad’s life.
Your father is German, right?
Yeah, my mom’s from Memphis so I’ve got a real strong southern part of my family. It’s a good mix because the southerners know how to crack open the wine at 5:00 PM. They’re kind, they laugh and they’re sweet. My father is much more industrious and I think the art of the to-do list must have come from my dad because I do remember this though. In college I dated somebody who was so good at manifesting. I forever will be grateful to him because he gave me so many skills. I was still very much a Sarah Lawrence student all over the map, feeling and reading Nietzsche and wandering around indulging myself and my fascinations.
Instead of getting caught up in those brambles, I was grateful to Philip because he was extremely focused on manifesting and changing our thoughts and driving our thoughts and our purpose on a day-to-day basis. I was even talking to my fiancé and he said to me, “My mantras are no fear and I’m free.” I love that because ultimately we’re setting the tone every day. Life is a muscular experience. We’re pushing through. I always think acting is like yoga. We have to let go and we have to push and all of that’s like life. We have to let go and be attached to nothing, be completely detached to the result or we have no control, but we have to put the effort in. We have to make those strong. We have to manifest in a purposeful way but we also have to let go. Anyway, at that time, I went from being a self-indulgent liberal arts student to being much more driven.
That’s lucky that you learned that lesson then because I was self-indulgent for probably twenty more years before I maybe got a little bit more self-controlled or self-disciplined. I felt from you that you had that discipline from the beginning.
My mom was free from Memphis. She was a free hippie chick. My dad was a young attorney and he was very rigid and brilliant, but he was climbing to try to make it and to become not just this immigrant from Germany whose father was a prisoner of war in Russia during the Second World War. He had that mentality of “I’m here in America, I’m going to make a difference,” so two different influences.
You grew up in New York. I read that you went to a little bit of boarding school in Tennessee where your mom went.
I thought you were going to refer to juvie.
Was there a stint in juvie? When was that? Do we get to hear about this?
Sometimes I thought about making it into a series. I had lunch with Jennie Urman who created Jane the Virgin and she found that story very compelling. I went to public school and I was bored. I think I wasn’t engaged and I was probably also in pain over my parents’ divorce. I was an only child, which means you’re doubly indulgent, self-indulgent. Regardless, I was kicked out of public school, whichever happens. My mother was left with very few alternatives and she also financially didn’t have a lot of alternatives. I was sent to juvie that was on one hand, kid sent by the state and then the other, kids that couldn’t fit into the normal school program. I only was there for a year. It was in Saratoga Springs. It was traumatizing. I’m making light of it. It was a terrible situation. I was there for a year.
I say this to all my friends who ended up having kids or people I’ve met that have kids who are struggling and they’re acting out and they’re very destructive or whatever. I think tough love does work because I swear to God, it scared me to death. My mom said, “This is how the world sees you. It sees you only fitting into this sort of paradigm. You can either get with the program or you cannot go to this school and get your GED and then you’ll always be perceived as not being able to do what others can do.” She used a few curse words in there. I didn’t want to be an F up. I didn’t want to be perceived like that and the year was tough, but it scared me straight and slowly but surely I began to try to fit in as well as be an individual.
Sophomore year, is that when you went to the boarding school?
I went to Tennessee, yeah. I went to boarding school starting at fourteen. I left home the whole time, all four years.
I went to boarding school for high school.
Yes, you did. Were you in England?
I was. I feel that we have that in common. I loved it.
I loved it too. Easton is never going. I’m sure she wants to be free and fearless. Those aren’t your mantras. Be fearful and not afraid.
After Sarah Lawrence, do you knew you wanted to be an actor right away?
I wanted to be a writer. I went to Sarah Lawrence to write. I ended up falling in love with acting there and I realized that they were extremely similar. Somehow the extroverted aspect of acting was very healing for my lack of confidence, which I’m sure we all feel in our teens when we feel horrible and awkward. Easton said that she doesn’t like the way she looks or this or that. It causes you such pain because you remember feeling that way. I try to always encourage her to see what’s great in her, but I also knew she has to go through her own journey. Acting helped me heal. Also, still to this day I get stage fright. I think about people that I love and I wonder if they feel how I feel actor-wise. Do they get nervous? The funny thing is that the addiction of overcoming the fear is my hook.
Feeling nervous about how it’s going to come out or letting go and then go free-falling. David O. Russell would say his favorite actors are capable of free-falling completely letting go. That experience is intoxicating and as Christian Bale said, “It’s like being in a waking dream.” If you could be present in your dreams and know exactly what’s happening other than just dreaming them, it almost feels like that when you completely let go. That feeling is very addictive to overcome the fear of being seen, fear of being vulnerable and transparent.
After college, you went to New York and still wanting to write but also loving acting.
I became an assistant at an agency, Buchwald where I’m now a client. It’s sweet. It’s cute. I look forward to doing great things with them because in a way it is like coming full circle to where I started at 22 working for them. I was an agency assistant for a year.
Did you ever ask them if you could go out?
Yes. I quit and told them I wanted to be an actor and I asked very politely if I could audition for the theatrical department and they politely declined. They’re like, “Sorry, kid. Come back next time.” I then got a soap opera very quickly after that and I was, unfortunately for Buchwald, accepted at Paradigm.
How did you start going out on auditions?
I got very lucky because I only knew one person that knew one person in the industry. I had a friend, Peter, his girlfriend was a soap opera star. She introduced me to her manager. The manager said he’d send me out on one audition. It was for One Life to Live. It was the General. Claire Labine, who was the head writer and showrunner of One Life to Live at that time liked me so much in the General that she gave me some pages and I got offered a three-year deal. We had dinner in the West Village and Peter Cohen made me sign on a paper napkin. He said, “You’re going to owe me 10% of your entire career for the rest of your life.” It was such a fluke.
A fluke, but also a sign that it was meant to be.Be committed to your purpose and keep your downtime full of things that give you a sense of joy and creativity. Click To Tweet
That’s what happens in life. That’s always a tricky thing too in life. Where you’re meeting resistance, should you keep pushing or should you not? What is that? For me, there was no resistance. I worked hard. My parents will say that I treated acting like a business, which they found shocking. That’s all I did. I sat at home and I wrote long heartfelt letters.
I need to talk about the letters. When did the letters happen? I heard you on that one audition podcast and that was the first time I heard the letter story, which I love. The three letters you wrote to three people that you admired so much in the business. Is that right?
Yeah, I wrote to Jim Sheridan. I wrote to Paula Wagner, who was the producing partner with Tom Cruise. I wrote to Kevin Costner, but I wrote to 100 people. Those were the only three I heard from. That’s exactly what happened. I was accepted by Paradigm’s daytime department. I finally got an audition for the theatrical department. I’d already had three meetings with Kevin Costner, Paula Wagner and Jim Sheridan. I go in and I do my monologue and they’re like, “Thanks. I’m leaving.” I turn around and I go, “I got myself these appointments. What can you do for me?” I hightailed it out of there and they signed me. It took such balls, but it’s true. I thought it was so logical. In a way, I feel that way still to this day. I have a very entrepreneurial spirit. I’ll cold call anybody.
That’s courage because it’s beyond entrepreneurial, which you are. There’s a sense of self-worth that I think is special.
Maybe it’s a sense of distrust of others that they’ll never help you in the way that you need to help yourself. Nobody will ever care as much as you do about yourself. Rather than collaboratively waiting for people to help you, always make sense. We all have to ask for help and help each other, but we also have to help ourselves because it’s very likely no one will ever have the same passion for your dreams as you will have.
When you called them out, when you were leaving the room and they’re like, “Thank you,” and you said that, did someone follow you out of the room?
Yes, towards the elevator.
They said, “We’d like to sign you?”
Yeah, Jonathan Bluman. I saw him at an event and I said thank you. I feel so grateful to him because then you know you do need an agent who gets you opportunities because you can’t quite get yourself opportunities. Although I’m the kind of hustler that I feel like if I could get my hands on the breakdowns every day I’d be my representatives’ worst nightmare.
This is so good to hear because you are a hustler. Even still when you’re career has, you’ve done everything, you’ve done movies, you’ve done television. I read through your resume before we came here and it’s incredibly impressive. The fact that you are still hungry for it and all about the hustling for the parts that you want. How long after signing with Paradigm did you get, you are in Angel and Law and Order. Did that happen fairly quickly?
I was in New York. I was auditioning. I came out to LA for about five days for pilot season. I did a pilot with Dick Wolf within those five days. That’s how I met Dick Wolf. That pilot didn’t get picked up. I continued to audition in New York and I went out to LA with a screen test for Barry Levinson movie. Through that casting director, who is a Sarah Lawrence graduate, Deborah Aquila, she then offered me an audition for this and that, but big movies. I got close on a couple of them and then I got the opportunity to audition for Michael Apted for a Bond movie. I ended up staying in LA because those auditions were going so well and I didn’t get the Bond movie. I ended up doing a BBC miniseries because I had been in England taking meetings. I did that.
At that time, I flew back to LA for an audition and it was Angel. That’s when I had the fateful wonderful moment of meeting Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt, who I’m still friendly with David Greenwalt and I would love to work with Joss again. For me, that was such a pivotal moment because in my dream it was like I was going to go do Merchant Ivory movies, but what I got to understand is that storytelling is vast. I thought, “What do I want to do a vampire show for?” Joss is so brilliant and was so deep and I began to understand that genre so much more. I had another series in between and then I got Law and Order.
Was that a huge career highlight at the time in terms of a marker of success?
I think it was a huge, big deal for me to come home to New York on such an iconic New York show because you go off to be something as an artist and everybody’s like, “Yeah, right. We’ll see.” Law and Order to New Yorkers is part of their identity. It’s like the Yankees. For me, not only did I make it as an actor, but I got Law and Order and I’m a total New Yorker through and through. That had a special meaning, plus my dad is an attorney so he can no longer tell me I was making a terrible mistake. Instead, he was running through the law firm being like, “That’s my daughter.”
You’ve done a ton of television. I want to get through a lot because you’re very interesting. After Law and Order was canceled or stopped running, did you have any downtime before you started to get these incredible roles?
I had a million horrible downtimes. This is the most horrible business. That’s the point of these conversations is to encourage other actors, because at the end of the day, this acting business is so unpredictable. I’ll never forget and it’s a silly example, but I’d done a Lifetime movie and it did well. This other director wanted me to do a Lifetime movie and Lifetime said, “We already have a movie with her that did well.” Unlike other businesses where if you perform well, “A plus B equals C.” In this business, it’s like over-saturation or they get too used to you or you’re just not the flavor of the month.
There are many ups and downs. There are so many highs. You have to be committed to your purpose as an actor and then keep your downtime full of things that give you a sense of joy and creativity. During one particular very downtime, I then began to write again, blog again, expanding my life, became a mother. My whole world became so much more rich. The work came back. I was doing a recurring role on a terrible show called The Client List on Lifetime once again. I auditioned for American Hustle and then my life completely changed again.
Those two movies, American Hustle and Joy, they’re phenomenal movies. You are so great in them. You have these character roles that you embody, Dolly Polito, the mayor’s wife. You’re wonderful in that. Joy, you play Jennifer Lawrence’s sister and I remember watching the movie and loving you. You were one of my favorite parts of that movie. You’re so jealous and you’re so good.
I swear to God, ever since that movie, now I like to play villains all the time. It seems to be my thing.
You’re in Bombshell, aren’t you?
Yeah, the character is not a villain. It’s a very small part, but I play Martha MacCallum of News on Fox.
I can’t wait to see the movie.
To be associated with those people, Jay Roach is such a great director. To work with him the little bit that I did, I’m salivating at the thought of doing something bigger with him because he’s such a light creative being. It was nice and I’m hopeful that in the world that we’re living in right now, that this movie does well and give us the right messaging for change. I think we’re in such a strange time right now. There are so much change that needs to happen.
I think the movie, even the trailer seems like it’s going to do that. You have this downtime and you became a mom which I want to talk about also. The work came back. You auditioned for American Hustle. Did you have a lot of callbacks?
No, David O. Russell is one of the most creative and brilliant human beings I’ve ever met. It was a pretty simple process. I auditioned with casting Mary Vernieu who forever to this day still is so supportive of me. That’s also something I would encourage. Build your relationship with casting because ultimately, they’re very important. They’re not just pushing a record button. They’re the gateway to your relationships with filmmakers. I always will audition. I love to audition and I think having a casting director fight for you is everything. I did that.
There was a call back which is a crazy story. We don’t have time to get into. It’s so silly. David ran out of time because it was a couple of days before the Oscars and he was campaigning for Silver Linings. He comes out of the office and can only meet with the next actress. That means I’m out. This actress goes with him into the office and I say to Mary Vernieu, “Did he see my audition tape? How could this be?” David turns around and goes, “You too. You come too.” I wouldn’t mean this other girl go into the audition room together because David’s style is very free and fearless to use those affirmations. He handles the whole audition in this very unique way and I got it. There was one other chemistry test after that with Jeremy Renner. I knew after that audition that I had it. I would’ve been shocked if I hadn’t.
That must have been a huge high.
I hadn’t remembered seeing David O. Russell, Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro doing Katie Couric talking about Silver Linings. I thought to myself it’s very much like the spirit of writing the letters, which is for me in my lifetime, it’s been true and important that my purpose and my authenticity is whole and real. To be an actor was not about being famous or having money. It was I have to do this movie. I have to do this show, I have to do things that mean something to me. I have to mean something. It has to mean something. That’s what I thought.
I saw David O. Russell on that and they were talking about mental health issues and Bob De Niro can’t even get a word out because he gets choked up and it was the most powerful interview. I thought, “These three men, I have to work with them,” and then your manifesting. Just to be clear that’s how I work anyway. Once I say it and once it has to happen somehow, then it becomes something. The letters too, I only wrote people that I had to work with and I sat there and wrote, “You’re the reason.” I’m not saying I believe in magic, but I do believe that when we get clear and we get out of our limbo, then we finally get out of our way and we begin to manifest with that type of razor sharp clarity.
You always ring true, very authentic, very real to everybody I ever see you interact with and then your performances. That makes sense that you would only ever do something that was authentic to you and full of your own personal integrity. Were you offered Joy?
Yes, because there wasn’t going to be a sister role or any role for me in that movie. David just one day texts and says, “I think she should have a sister.” He said, “Let me talk to Jennifer Lawrence and see if she’s cool with that.” He said, “Jen thinks it’s a good idea.” Jen and I have great chemistry.
You do. That was great. There are a lot of other things about you though, besides being an actor who’s done a ton of things. You write. You have a blog. You’re one of the first people that I read about who talked about fertility.
I write a blog for People Magazine about motherhood. I did it at a time when my career was not quite doing well as an actor. It gave me so much purpose. It filled my cup so much. I did it for no money. I still do it for no money. I love it and I do it when I can. Through that relationship with women through the blog and finding that authentic way of telling the truth as a mom, then I ended up coming out of the closet about having done IVF to have Easton and the response was so incredible that one of my best friends was like, “Lis, you have to write a book about this.”
In the writing of the book with Eve Adamson, who I co-wrote it with, what we got to the heart of is that as women we have to come together. As people, we have to come together and help the other ones out. You’re throwing back your hand and you’re saying, “Come on, come with me.” What does that cost you? It costs you nothing. The problem with infertility is that so many people, men and women, mostly women, when they have a child and if they did IVF and someone compliments them on their baby, they don’t go, “I did IVF. You should get checked.” They go, “Thank you so much.” There’s something about the fact that if we can’t have sex and make a baby that we’re not as feminine or we’re not as masculine. At the end of the day, if we want a family, however we do it as a modern family is beautiful and how we help the next generation, the reproductive generation and young women who get to go to college, get a career, fall in love with the right person as opposed to the person that’s right there at that time. We want to encourage each other so that they don’t go through the same obstacles that we went through. That was the purpose of writing a book.There is no guarantee that you have another day. Delight in the little things because it comes and goes. Click To Tweet
How old were you when you wrote the book?
I was 38, but I got pregnant at 34, something like that.
It’s very important work and it’s a crucial message. We had a fertility doctor on our show and she said that she recommends every woman by the age of 30 to get a screen now.
I would say younger. If you are 25 years old and you’re already going to the OB/GYN, you should ask for your hormone levels to be checked and your fertility reserve. You might find out you’re incredibly fertile, then you don’t have to do it for a couple of years or whatever it is, but you have to start to be proactive. There was a time when women didn’t get mammograms. If we as women come together, the thing is that we haven’t become more fertile to keep up with 40 is the new 30. We’re still our most fertile in our twenties. To be able to have children in our 40s or maybe 50s because we’re so vital and vibrant, now we’ve achieved some wisdom, we’ve accumulated some money and we could be great parents. Our body hasn’t caught up with us. We want to encourage the reproductive generation to get their futures in their hands and be advocates for themselves. Freeze your eggs so you can do whatever you want.
You can do whatever you want, you don’t have to rush and you don’t have to stress about it. I think it’s important.
Even the gynecological community isn’t loud enough on this subject. Every fertility doctor would say that.
I would agree with you. The fertility doctor that we had on here was adamant that everybody should be getting checked earlier.
No gynecologist you’ve ever been to has asked you to check those things, “If you want to be a mom, you may want to do these tests.”
That was a long time ago from me now, but no one ever did that when I was younger. Was there a huge outpouring when you wrote your book?
Yeah, and even since going on a book tour, every talk show I did, some women grab my wrist and said, “Do you want to see my IVF baby?” It’s a generational thing. This generation, our generation wasn’t just going to college to be a Mrs. We weren’t going to school to be a Mrs. Even though I think Sarah Lawrence might have been creative for that back in the day. We had goals and you put ten years into a career and then you start a family and so you’re running out of time.
I had my kids later and it was a big thing. Everybody was checking everything and, “Are you going to be able to do it?” and all that.
That was the book was about. There was a big outpouring and I still feel it’s a big conversation even though Easton is eleven.
She is so beautiful. I see her on your Instagram. She is stunning.
She is eleven going on 21 unfortunately.
She can never leave. I remember you said that. Your blog now is on motherhood, not IVF.
Now it’s on divorce and it’s all on new engagement.
Thank you. It’s on the newer journey of being disappointed with myself and with the circumstances of Ron and I now working out who’s Easton’s dad and then reinventing from there and believing you deserve happiness and trying to fit that in to a child’s world who is still sore from their parents not working out. The blog has expanded based upon my own life.
He’s a judge. How did you guys meet?
We met through my parents. It’s very sweet. My parents live across the street from Jonathan. They’re neighbors. They didn’t know each other that well. They knew each other more locally and walking the dogs and seeing each other and talking but they loved him and said, “We think we know your husband. You should meet him.” I said, “I highly doubt you two are going to introduce me to my husband but knock yourselves out. If we’re going to have a drink with this guy, then you two are coming.” We had a double date. We had drinks then it was on. We already knew it was on.
Did you already like him?
Yeah, we both felt that way immediately. We went to dinner and then we couldn’t wait until my parents left because we didn’t need the babysitters anymore.
I see a dog with him in all of the photos. He has a service dog, a special one.
He does therapy work with Bailey and it’s extraordinary. It’s an organization called Love on a Leash. He felt having dedicated his life to justice and to take people’s pain away and to help them in their darkest moments. His father, when he was in the hospital, had gotten a dog. He had come in to see him with a similar situation and he thought, “I want to do this at some point.” He got a dog. He’d got the dog trained. He started when Bailey was a year old and he loves it. It’s such a rich part of his life, whether it’s the VAs or children with special needs or college kids that are stressed out and this league of dogs.
They help. They truly do. Did you lose a dog?
Yeah, my dog just died. It’s awful.
That’s terrible and I’m sorry. I have to say that you are like the human version of a husky. These incredible piercing blue eyes and then your hair, you and your doggy are truly related.
I know, he was my spirit animal. He was my totem.
You signed with Buchwald again. This just happened. They are your agents now. Is that fun to be back?
Yeah, it’s great. There’s such a good feeling about it because of how I started there.
Is the person who you used to assist for still there?
They’re in New York, Michael Raymen. I went to New York and I met the office again and Michael came down and he said, “I had to come see you.” I said, “Do you need me to do any lists for you or any submissions? I’m available all afternoon.”
“All afternoon, I could do a little assistant work for you.”
One of his fellow workers said, “Lis Rohm, correct me if I’m wrong, but I was thinking of you the other day. I thought, is it true that she used to come to work when she was an assistant in a full-length furcoat?” He goes, “Tell me it’s not so.” I said, “It sounds like me. I think I did that.” I got on the train and went to my assistant job and my mother’s fur coat. Bizarre as I was still am.Becoming strong is about developing good habits. Click To Tweet
There’s acting, writing the book, you talked about maybe you want to do a podcast.
I would love to. I’ve thought a lot about what the world need now. What people need is maybe a little bit more transparency with others. I’d love to know what people’s magic formula is for happiness that sustains them. I don’t know that I want to talk about work. I want to talk about your tricks. The things that keep you healthy, the things you say to yourself when things aren’t good because certain people that have achieved so much have good tricks and they stay light, they stay bright and they go through dark moments because we all do. I’m interested more in what sustains us and how we maintain our joy and our enthusiasm for life because it is wearisome. I’m thinking a lot about doing a podcast about joy.
I want to listen and that’s what interests me. I like to hear the stories about when people are at their darkest times or downtimes. You’re aren’t booking and things have fallen apart. How did you come back or how did you remain creative and positive? How did you find your way back through it? There’s nothing interesting than people who have it all figured out.
Some things in life do feel laborious and grueling and that’s okay. We have to have discipline and we have to have fortitude to do the heavy lifting. We also have to have delight in the little things and find things that fill our cup all the time, even if we’re struggling with aspects of our life. It’s about having the discipline to do the hard work. Sometimes you’re getting rewarded for it, sometimes you’re not. Having this other part of you that keeps the sparkle in your eye, the innocence, the purity and the enthusiasm for everything. Eventually, it comes back around, especially in the arts, it goes up and down. You have to keep your sparkle.
The transparency is a big part of that and being honest about your struggles and what does help during those times is immensely helpful.
For me, it’s always been about delight in the little things because it comes and goes. One thing I know for sure is that there will always be difficult times and I can’t give in to that. That’s something that for me feels important because I know that there is no guarantee that you have another day. My mom died at 60. It’s up to me if I make this day delightful. Am I acting? No. Do I have a job? No. Does that frustrate me? Yes. Do I feel annoyed about that? Do I have to go to an audition later this week? Do I have to fight for my piece of the pie? Absolutely. All of those things are known variables, but how am I going to fill my cup so that I love life?
You have a rich life in between. You’re not waiting around for those auditions. I see on Instagram, you exercise a lot. You’re very healthy. I see you and your fiancé, you bike, you hike, you do yoga.
That’s new. It goes back to the point of delighting in life, finding those challenges and finding the things that you absolutely love so that you feel delighted by this life. Cycling is totally new. I love it. I kid you not. I literally bike on the freeway. That is how much this is advanced.
If I’m doing a 40-mile bike ride that it’s going to cross a freeway, a bridge or something. It’s become amazing. I love it. I’m not wearing clippings or weird outfits yet, although I’m bordering on some.
You’re outfit is great. You’re in a workout outfit and I love it.
I am and I want to say a little bit about this outfit. This goes back to delighting in things. I’m not a corporate person. I didn’t go to business school, but I know what I love and I know what gets me going. As years have gone by, probably because as I was aging, I was having a harder time losing weight so I had to go to the gym and I had to do more. I had to mix it up more because biking, hiking and yoga. Those are the things that I liked but on a minimal scale. I found this apparel company in Canada called RYU. What RYU represents is Respect Your Universe. The whole concept of the fitness apparel is just incredibly cool, but it does perform.
I got to know the company and I now have become a partner of RYU. It goes back to doing the things you love. It’s not that my aspiration was to run an apparel company, but as my life changed and I found delight in the biking. Being more fit, aging well, aging gracefully and feeling stronger than ever when I’m 46 as opposed to not feeling good and feeling like I’m aging and all the crazy things that go through your head, maybe life’s passing you by or whatever. I’m not buying into any of that. It manifested in another chapter, which may be much like the blogging will end up being something I’ll look back and say, “That was amazing and I love it and now it’s a part of me.”
Whatever that boyfriend, Philip, you said his name was, the manifestor. You are doing it and living it between everything that you do and everything the doors seem to open. I know you do the work at it, but that’s inspirational to keep saying yes and put one foot in front of the other and you do all the things.
That’s it. Every day, exercise, you have to wake up. Do it whether you like it or not. You begin to develop good habits, better muscles and eventually it becomes natural and you can do it effortlessly. That’s what becoming strong is about.
You strike me as very strong and I look up to you for that. Thank you for coming on here. When is your wedding?
No date yet. We’re happily enjoying, just being in love.
That’s so fun. You two seem super in love.
It’s the love of my life, best relationship ever.
Thank you. I hope you come back and I hope you do a podcast and I’ll be listening.
Yeah, you’ll come on in.
Yes, please. I can’t wait to see all your new projects that are coming out.
Thank you so much.
About Elisabeth Rohm
Elisabeth Rohm (@elisabethrohm) will do it, all of it. She’s a hugely successful actress (“Law and Order”, “American Hustle”, “Joy”, “Bombshell” to name a few) an adoring mom, she’s co-written a book, she has a blog for People magazine, she’s a partner with a fitness apparel brand and she may start a podcast (AKA we bet it’s on everyone’s subscribe-list soon). She’s the perfect mixture of incredible artist meets focused pragmatist. Lis has been manifesting her dreams before manifesting was out there as a mainstream process. Her commitment to finding joy and delight in life, particularly when things are rough, is inspirational in that it’s a path she really walks as a life practice. She’s gorgeous for sure, but it’s her intelligence, honesty, transparency and heart that make her characters on screen, as well as her real-life character, so compelling.